We Forced a Bot to Write Light Novel Titles
Here at Honey’s Anime, we’re always trying to showcase fun and exciting anime, manga, and light novels. Like many fans, we’ve noticed that a lot of recent anime or manga — usually the ones that start out as light novels — tend to have, well, rather long titles. You know what we’re talking about — series like My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As I Expected; or isekai titles such as Banished From The Hero's Party, I Decided To Live A Quiet Life In The Countryside. And don’t even get us started on I’m a Behemoth, an S-Ranked Monster, but Mistaken for a Cat, I Live as an Elf Girl’s Pet — that’s basically the entire plot described in the title! Are these lengthy titles designed to be eye-catching? To frustrate graphic designers?? To make reviewers like us triple-check exactly how many exclamation marks are in the title??? Well, here at Honey’s, we thought we’d help our light novel-writing friends by taking away the burden of creating such descriptive titles. With the help of otherworldly technology (a.k.a, the open-source GPT-2 project), we force-fed an innocent bot 147 light novel titles, and selected ten titles practically guaranteed to be huge successes! We’ve also included a hastily made clipart cover for each of these imaginary works. We don’t know what the novels are about, of course...but that won’t stop us! Today on Honey’s Anime, join us as we ... uh, review? ... ten Totally-Not-Real Light Novel titles written by a bot!
10. Dispossessed Simpleton – Silly Mouse Don’t Cook the Inedible Stew!
Okay, so we’re feeling some oddball comedy vibes here. Like, Doukyonin wa Hiza, Tokidoki, Atama no Ue. (My Roommate is a Cat) mixed with Disney Pixar’s Ratatouille. A well-meaning mouse attempts to take care of its hikikomori owner by crafting horrible, completely inedible food concoctions that might actually have a negative HP status effect. This premise raises many questions. Can mice cook without opposable thumbs? Wasn’t that the entire point of Ratatouille? Is this mouse creating human-sized portions or mouse-sized portions? We have QUESTIONS.
9. Worst Cop Turned Samurai’s Epic Folly
Honestly, this one sounds like a riot. Is there time travel involved? Did a modern Tokyo Metropolitan cop get sent back in time to the Edo period? Or did a police officer follow the way of the sword in modern Japan?? Either way, we’re getting action-comedy vibes – One Punch Man but with ridiculous over-the-top samurai antics. After saving Tokyo from time-traveling samurai enemies, our protagonist will end up getting chewed out by his superiors, who are none-the-wiser about his heroic mastery of the blade. Such is the lonely road of the Worst Cop-turned-Samurai.
8. Winning the Devil Bridal Party is a Lot Like Procrastinating
Look, even our AI managed to cook up some clearly ecchi content for our readers. What a good bot. We’ll make sure it gets an extra special helping of ... uh ... whatever it is that text-generating bots enjoy? Winning the Devil Bridal Party is a Lot Like Procrastinating is 100% an ecchi harem comedy, probably starring a hapless young guy who accidentally catches a bouquet of thorny roses at the King of Hell’s wedding, and ends up winning Satan’s daughter’s hand in marriage. Of course, not wanting to get hitched to the future Queen of Hell, our protagonist procrastinates choosing a wedding date in increasingly bizarre scenarios that always end poorly for him. Just for fun, we’re going to throw in a human love interest (classmate crush, maybe?) to make a love triangle and give our unlucky MC even more romantic troubles!
7. Sorry, It’s Time to Boot You to Rinkai Bro
Did you know that the Rinkai Line is a twelve-kilometer train line that connects central Tokyo to the artificial islands of Aomi and Odaiba? It runs underground for ten kilometers and serves 200,000 customers every day. There were probably other interesting facts in the Wikipedia article, but that was as far as we read. Anyway, where were we? Right. Sorry, It’s Time to Boot You to Rinkai Bro. A post-apocalyptic coming-of-age high school story about delinquent boys who spend their days loitering the subway stations of Tokyo. Once the manga adaptation arrives, this series will generate some fiercely contested BL ships, and cause a sudden spike in the number of people traveling on the Rinkai Line.
6. You Stop Listening, Class Monitor? What the Hell is Your Weapon?
An edgier, more violent take on Youkoso Jitsuryoku Shijou Shugi no Kyoushitsu e (Classroom of the Elite), we’re pretty sure our bot was having terrible flashbacks to its own high school days when it named this one. Imagine a sci-fi story set around a school where basic disputes are solved via duels with awesome weapons. We’re thinking Gakusen Toshi Asterisk (The Asterisk War) but with even more school-life tropes to balance out the action. There’ll be at least three different love interests for our predictably bland protagonist; an energetic but idiotic best friend; and a no-nonsense teacher who is really handsy when she gets drunk. Seriously, these novels are just writing themselves at this point, aren’t they?
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5. To Whom It May Concern, Town Bosses Cannot Play RPGs
We needed a solid isekai or two on this list, didn’t we? We’re not sure if “town boss” refers to the person who runs a town (like a mayor), or whether the bot had intended for them to be actual dungeon bosses. We’re going to combine both ideas, and say this dungeon-crawling isekai follows a reluctantly appointed mayor who is totally unprepared to be the boss mob protecting his town. Slapstick comedy ensues as our unlucky mayor attempts to balance piles of paperwork (much to the disdain of his gorgeous but air-headed receptionist) against the needs of his town’s adventurer’s guild (which is constantly finding trouble and causing damage to the town’s walls). Running a town is hard when you don’t understand RPG mechanics!
4. Thirteen Princesses Must Unite for Marriage to Conquer Three Magical Weaponry
Okay, hear us out. A shoujo-yuri-sci-fi Sailor Moon rebooted with a splash of Cowboy Bebop — oh, and the hypnotic color palette of No Game No Life. Perfect! Now we have a story about brave interstellar princesses who form a polyamorous relationship to create an alliance against three universe-destroying sentient weapons that have come to annihilate their homeworlds. ThirPrinThree (as it’s sure to be known by fans) will tell a surprisingly heartwarming story about royal responsibilities and friendships, with some ecchi fan-service drawings and a collectible poster that has all thirteen girls in their bathing suits for...reasons. It’ll be a huge hit, trust us!
3. What is Momodou? No, I’m Serious! Can You Help Me On His Quest for Enlightenment?
We don’t know what Momodou is, but we think this title will be a hilarious school-life romantic drama, with philosophical elements like My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected. We’re not sure if we’re qualified to talk about matters of enlightenment, unless finally being able to afford one of those really expensive Hatsune Miku figures counts as achieving enlightenment? Regardless, we see Momodou (our main character) embarking on a “summer of youth” adventure with his childhood friends to discover the meaning of love at the crucial turning point of adolescence. Ahh, Dengeki Novel Prize, that coveted award will soon be ours!
2. Dragon Anthology: Last Will Where My Sisters Are Stunningly Outnumbered!
Another shamelessly ecchi title generated by our surprisingly well-informed AI, we see Dragon Anthology as a siscon harem comedy, where one extremely exhausted dragon-slash-prince tries to protect his adorable sisters from knights seeking their hand in marriage! Sure, brotherly support is important, but boundaries — that’s something our protagonist will have to learn in time! Of course, there needs to be a foil in this story, so we think the dragon prince himself will also be hounded by suitors, each of them coveting his throne and/or a chance to get nearer to his adorable flock of little sisters! Anything goes in this over-the-top light novel series about family, marriage, and dragon powers!!!
1. The Devil is Dead, Long Live the Devil!
In times past, whenever the reigning monarch died in Britain or other European monarchies, the town crier would shout: “The King is Dead, Long Live the King!” So basically, this light novel series stars the Crown Prince of Hell, a layabout devil who thought he had centuries of laziness ahead of him...and now finds himself as the true lord of hell! Totally unprepared for the job of running Hell itself, our newly-crowned devil does the unthinkable and recruits a down-on-her-luck angel who recently got booted out of Heaven...and despite their rival ideological positions, the pair form an unexpected partnership to dig Hell out of the pile of debt and management problems! We’ll catch you at the anime premiere party — this story is definitely going to be a winner!
Final Thoughts
Okay, so maaaaybe there’s a bit more to writing light novels than simply having a really cool title. But what does technology exist for, if not to amuse us by generating increasingly bizarre (and yet strangely appealing) light novel titles? Do you think you’d read any of these? Are you curious about the process behind creating a light novel title that’s innovative and memorable? Drop down in the comments below to chat with us, and as always, thanks for reading!
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